Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob

So, I don’t really know who Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are and what their full stories are, but today’s service at Austin Stone really touched me. Jeff talked about Abraham as the saint who believes he is good because he does good things, Jacob believes he is bad because he does bad things, and Isaac longs to be Abraham or Jacob because of his boring life. The point was not to be so engrossed in whether your actions are good or bad and if those actions make people/God love you more or less; rather, no matter how many good or bad things you do, you were born with an identity of sin and Jesus has cleansed you of that identity.

It made me think for a split second that maybe I don’t want to be so concerned about my career, and maybe I want to just do good in the world. For a second, I forgot about wanting to be successful and do great things or become well-known for what I do. Instead, in that moment, I wanted to go out in the world and improve it. I haven’t gone as far as wanting to spread the gospel because I don’t really know what all the gospel says, but I do know that God’s agenda is good, and if we were to be people through which he pushes forward that agenda, it would be great.

I can’t wrap my head around living a life for God because living for myself is all I’ve ever known. How will I ever be able to grasp the concept that my life does not belong to me?

Testimonial: Part 1

My parents were never really religious people. They still aren’t to this day. If I had to decide, I’d say they lean towards Buddhism. I could make the same statement about myself just a few years ago. If anything, I leaned towards Buddhism. I went to Buddhist Youth Camp, or what I called Buddha Camp, two summers in a row. There, I learned that Buddhists wake up early to do yoga, meditate for 30 minutes, clean and do chores for large amounts of time, refrain from killing all living things, are vegetarian, and don’t talk while eating. It was fun for all the wrong reasons, and I can’t say that I really learned much about the religion. 

Even though I wasn’t religious, I remember praying to a higher being in the past. When I was younger, I remember every so often something bad would happen to me, or I would be afraid of something, and I would think to myself, “God, please (insert request here).” I remember it clearly because I would sit in bed every time before I fell asleep and “pray” for this bad thing to go away or not happen. Looking back, I’m not sure what I was doing or thinking when I’d “pray,” but I know I felt like I was praying to someone!

I heard this song twice this morning. Once when I got into my car this morning to go to the gym. I heard it again when I turned Pandora on to listen to while I got ready for work.

I can’t explain the feeling that came over me when I heard it in my car. It was like awesome wake-up music. I felt like something really powerful filled me at that moment.

Then, when it was the first song that came on when I opened Pandora, I had to blog about it. I felt so at peace in that moment. Like, God was telling me all is good.

And all is good.

College Student Development Theory

I signed up in class to present on the Religion and Spirituality theory as it pertains to college student development. I’m really looking forward to it.

Prayer

My prayer tonight: God, I want to get to know who you are. I want to read about you and really understand all that you are. Please help me through that process and open my heart to you. You tug at my heart from time to time, and I shut it down with my brain. Please help me change that. Help me to be a better person, one’s that less self-centered. Help me to do the right things in every situation. 

Testimonial

I’ll be writing my testimonial soon for missional community in a couple of weeks. It will be nice to hear my own story. Until then, I am picking up my NIV Study Bible to try going through it once more.

I’m having a hard time right now.

I’m not Christian

I had a great conversation with my friend, Quincy, today over lunch. I mentioned that I have been going to church for a while now and learning about spirituality, but I’m not Christian. I don’t believe Jesus Christ is my savior and that he died for my sins. I do believe in God, though. Maybe I’m not sure what God I believe in, yet. 

Chapter four of the Bible Doctrine asks and answers the question, “How do we know that God exists?” It claims that humanity has an inner sense of God; we all have a deep, inner sense that God exists and that we are his creatures. I believe this one pretty wholeheartedly. I think human beings feel and know of an existence of a supreme being who is watching over everything and has control over things which we don’t. I like the idea, and at the same time, it’s very comforting to know that what you have no control of is in the hands of someone who is good.

John 1-18

¹ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ² He was with God in the beginning. ³ Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴ In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. ⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome^[a] it.

 ⁶ There was a man sent from God whose name was John. ⁷ He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. ⁸ He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.

 ⁹ The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. ¹⁰ He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. ¹¹ He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹² Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³ children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

 ¹⁴ The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

 ¹⁵ (John testified concerning him. He cried out, saying, “This is the one I spoke about when I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’”) ¹⁶ Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. ¹⁷ For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. ¹⁸ No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and^[b] is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.

READ:

“Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.”

“John testified concerning him. He cried out, saying, “This is the one I spoke about when I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’”

“Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.”

EXAMINE:

God created everything we know in this world.

We have all received the grace of God.

APPLICATION:

Give thanks to God for all you have.

PRAYER:

God, please open my heart to the idea that through you, all things were made.

Bible Doctrine

I was reading from the Bible Doctrine last night, and one of the chapters attempted to answer the question, “How do we know God exists?” The first answer given was that all human beings know their creator and sense him. When I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. I’ve always felt like there’s been a higher power watching over me that had control over things in or surrounding my life, and I’ve never grown up learning about any such supreme being. I’m not sure whether our society has created this commercialization of Christianity, but often times I will find myself saying, “Thank God” or “Please, God don’t let (insert bad thing) happen to me.” Who exactly do I think I’m talking to?

There is an assortment of things that make up God that are very difficult for me to comprehend and to accept. And when I’m thinking about that, I come across text that talks about God’s incomprehensibility. This means we as human beings and as creations of God are unable to fully understand who and what God is. We can understand some, but not all, of him. I guess for now this is an acceptable answer for me.